Friday 20 September 2013

so lonely

When you don't belong to any group, you're an outsider. It's a great position to create art from. You can observe things properly and evaluate them properly.
But you get lonely. You get used to be lonely when making art. That's ok. It's actually quite fun because you're not really alone. It's quality time with your material.
But then comes the day when suddenly you realise that because you're an outsider you don't have any support in those organisations that give out money. You keep applying for funding for new things but it's getting harder and harder when you have the feeling that your ideas are getting better and better. What seems to be happening is that you in all your outsider-ness are more and more drifting apart from the people who finance art projects. That's proper loneliness, on your own, not belonging AND split from the funders. So, what do you do? If you continue being true to your work, you stay in the loneliest place in the world. I was just thinking about the other possibilities, but the only other possibility I can think of is to stop making art and do something else...